Feedback:
Seeing as my conceptual idea was a bit too abstract to understand within my short film and wasn't executed as well as I would have liked, this has led to some changes to make it a bit easier to digest and watch.
- The protagonist needs to be seen taking more pictures to solidify his role as an 'art student' etc. Furthermore shots of him looking frustrated is slightly confusing. Perhaps emphasis on trying to take a good picture and failing at finding one, may support his attempt to climb out and take the lake shot.
- Need to see protagonist drowning, visual pleasure and understanding of what the plot revolves around. Currently the screen cuts to black and you hear the audio of the fall. Initially my plan was to film him 'drowning' but my actor wasn't keen on the idea and i've had to work around it.
- There is no audio in the shop scene to relate that the protagonist is not really there. The shop assistant is seen on his phone talking to someone "It's been dead in here all day, ..." etc. This would help to support the plot.
- Remove the car scene at the end, it gets too surreal and is confusing. Also bring forward the bystander saving him section to keep the narrative simple and easy to follow.
To do list:
- Film: The protagonist taking more pictures,
- Film: The drowning scene,
- Record: The shop assistant audio for background sound
- Edit: Re arrange the order of some sequences in adobe Premiere.
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